until your lips turn fucking pale violet.

So, I give up.

This was the fourth time I came to my parents for help because I’m scared that I’m developing an eating disorder. They think it’s nothing, that I’ll grow out of it. They think that I should just eat and it’ll solve everything. They don’t understand. I’m done trying, I’m not going to waste my breath. But at the same time, I’m glad. This means if ever I do have one I’m most likely going to get sent for help and therapy and all this shit. I don’t want that and besides, I don’t wanna have to put my parents to pay for all that. And I still haven’t reached my ultimate goal weight. I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. Okay. I’m fucking lost. I’m in a constant battle with myself. I’ll be fine. Sure I will. I can take care of myself.